Thursday, November 10, 2011

Love and Logic for Chickens

Eric said something hilarious this morning. But first, some nuance:

*The kids’ favorite movie the last few weeks has been Chicken Run, where a group of chickens escape from a chicken farm by building a plane—a “crate” as they call it.

*Also bear in mind—Ryan is a hopeless tease.

This morning over breakfast, Ryan was teasing Beth, calling her “Muffin” and “Baby Maybe.” So Eric goes into protective older brother mode and tells Ryan he needs to stop or Eric’s going to get his crate and fly so close he’ll bonk Ryan’s head with the wing. Of course this only goads Ryan on—“What if I called her my sweet potato? How about Beth-bug?”

Then Eric levels the ultimatum: “You choose—the wing or the wheels.”

He explains that Ryan could either get clocked by the crate’s wing or ground under its landing gear. It was so funny to hear him using Love and Logic right back at us. (“Would you like to leave the park now or in five minutes?”) Ryan chuckles and says he’d prefer neither. “I’ll take a pillow. A soft, fluffy pillow. Like a marshmallow.”

Eric wasn’t having any of it. “Okay," he says, "you get the propeller.”

Ryan just stares at him incredulously and then bursts out laughing. “You’re one morbid kid!”

Friday, November 4, 2011

Once Upon A Halloween

Halloween came and went especially quick here. With the baby and all, it felt like it kind of sprung on us. In fact, we hadn't even gotten to downloading the pictures off the camera until we talked to Grandma Alleman tonight and she asked to see the kids' costume. This one's for you, Mom.

Here is Robert at one month.
Here are the kids ready to go trunk-or-treating the Saturday before Halloween. Eric would not be dissuaded from wearing Thomas again, but not having to whip together another costume for him sure made things easier on me. And Beth is not just any pirate. She's a pirate princess!

Yo-ho! Hands off me treasure!
This was taken just before we headed out Monday night. Ryan is so in his element here.
Eric in his element.
If you can believe this, the picture was taken before he had any candy.
I was not motivated to dress Robert up, so we made do with a super cute teddy-bear hat a good friend made for him. Is this picture disturbing to anyone else?
Ryan here.

Halloween did kind of sneak up on us. I usually try to write a little something, but with the baby and all, I just never got around to it. So come Halloween Day, I went on a writing website I frequent with some friends and proposed doing a Halloween Bulwer-Lytton.

If you've been hanging around this blog long, you know the Bulwer-Lytton is the Dark And Stormy Night contest, where the goal is "to compose the opening sentence to the worst of all possible novels."

Here are a few of my favorites. Feel free to add more in the comments if you feel so inclined.

1). Of all the lycanthropic breeds, I had to be bitten by a were-Chihuahua.

2). After years of therapy, both emotional and physical, the troll felt ready to confront the Billy Goats Gruff about that fateful day.

3). "I know you're undead and all," Sophie cooed to Tyrone, tracing his bicep, "but I always go for the bad boys," to which he responded--somewhat awkwardly, due to half his jaw dangling by a few strings of cartilage--"Grawww?" which, roughly translated, means: "How fortunate it is that I dowsed myself in body glitter."

4). The witch drew one wart-rimmed, ragged, grimy fingernail across Barbara's creamy skin, and then said, "Let me tell you about the MaryKay products available for your skin type, darlin'."

5). Now the Hunchback of Notre Dame, he had class--alas, the Hunchback of Hot Topic never got invited to the same parties, and vowed revenge.

6). Russell never realized the problems dentures posed until he became a zombie; off he shuffled into the night in search of a good denture cream, and then braaaaains . . .

7). Gretchen puzzled at the bad rap step-mothers got as she paid the hitman.

8). In frustration, dread Cthullu destroyed another city, desperately searching for his missing teddy bear.

9). Gregory watched in horror as the small lump traveled up his torso and into his left arm, only for a gray head to pop out and announce, "I knew I shoulda taken that left turn at Albuquerque!"

10). Dracula, waiting atop the chilly and foreboding Empire State Building, began to despair that his date for dinner, Teri Fayed (on whom he intended to dine), would not be meeting him--not knowing that she'd been struck down by a taxi cab in her rush to meet him, and that now she languished in a hospital two miles away, losing all that precious blood he so yearned for.

Hope you all had a spooky Halloween! On to the holidays!